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Love Story #1715
My Best Friend, My Ex Lover
by Kate
I first met Sam* Online. I was in this weird chatroom that I hated terriably. He was making fun of a bunch of people. Being really rude. I admit some of the things were harsh. I didn't talk to him. Just when I was about to exit the room. He was like :Hey I'm Sorry:He has asked me where I was from & I told him. It turned out we lived in the same state,and only an hour and half away from each other. At this time I had just turned 17 and he was almost 18. We talked for several hours a night,for months and months. He was so sweet, We were just friends. Strictly friends. I didn't know that he had feelings for me. I didn't really have any feelings for him. He became my best friend. I told him everything. Sooner or Later we lost touch he got a life, and I did to. I begun dating guys who had used/abused/ and hurt me. One day I went back into that same chatroom and he was there!!He had said hello to me,he had missed!:-)
I was excited that he and I were friends again.We hadn't talked in forever, but we'd give our "online" friends messages to give to each other. I had moved to a different state. And when he found that out it didn't affect him. After awhile We grew apart again. I stayed offline without telling him goodbye or even a simple I won't be online much anymore. I met this other guy who was abusive to me,and that I was with for a year. I hadn't talked to Sam* in forever. The guy I was dating had brainwashed me and got me into a lot of bad things. However, when I finally realized where my life was heading. I broke up with him and began getting online again. Sam* was still on my aol list but never talked to me. I figured he was just REALLY pissed off at me for me being the way I was to him. When I was dating the other guy me and Sam* had talked on the phone one time..I totally was rude and I avoided him. I didn't know he had feelings for me.. I didn't care at that time. I was wrapped in abusve thing most people get mixed in. Anyway, one day I went back n that same chatroom. He was there. I didn't say hello and he didn't say hello. In fact he was really rude to me. I was hurt. It had been 2 and a half years we had known each other, we'd been through everything together but this one thing WAS the major downfall in our life.Finally- he messaged me, my heart had fallen. He was being so mean and rude to me, I deserved it. He told me how he felt, and I had been hurt to many times...I didn't admit my feelings for him. We started talking again. He emailed me when we couldn't talk,and then we both got jobs. Instead of losing touch of him..I gave him my phone number and he gave me his. We started talking on the phone. We devoted our freetime on the phone with each other instead of on the computer. Our friends never seen much of us because we'd spend 6 hours on the phone. We started dating in late december. And met in person 2 months later. When I first saw him I died. He was so cute, so sweet. He kissed me,and I froze. When he touched me I froze. I loved him,but how did I tell him?He told me he loved me first, and then I finally admited that I loved him. I've never felt that way for anyone before, and I wasn't afraid to get hurt. We were 2 hours away from each other. We seen each other every other weekend. Soon we started growing apart our 7 hours of talking turned into 1 hour and evnetually our 1 hour turned into 30 minutes. I loved him, I truely truely wanted to make it work. It was almost my 19th birthday. We had been together for 7 months. I had planned a big thing for my birthday, but before that could even be full filled he broke up with me.
That feeling was the worse feeling i had ever gotten. I couldn't eat,I couldn't sleep. I had lost 50 pounds. I cried myself to sleep. Then he promised me we'd always be friends. I didn't believe Sam. We never stayed friends...We always grew apart.He was my love,my life. One day he called me. I heard his voice and I cried. I pretended that it didn't hurt but it did.It hurt more then words could express. Eventually we started talking again on the phone,and our friendship is so much stronger.We still see each other every othe weekend just as friends. It hurts sometimes when I see his beautiful smile. When I see his eyes. Last weekend. He held me like he had when we were together instead this time IT was ALOT stronger. It was like I knew I had to get him back. Then he kissed me. He kissed me so sweetly, and told me that he cared for me so much but at that time we couldn't be together. I understood and for the first time in my life I had cried in front of someone. He held me. I love Sam more then words can say. And I'm saving everything I am for him. Our friendship means more to me then it has ever,and I know that someday we'll be together again. Last night on the phone he told me he loved me. I hadn't heard those words in 2 long months, I cried when I heard them. He made me smile. I hadn't been able to smile for so long. Now that is the only thing I can do.
Sam isn't my lover, but we still love each other. Every moment that we are together we hold each other,and we never say goodbye without one good kiss. I know that if we are ment to be together we'll be together. Forever. No distance or anything could tear us apart.
Alot people say they feel sad for me because i'm madly in love with my BEST friend. I tell him everything. EVERYTHING. But i'm not sad I'm thankful because without sam I couldn't be the person I am today. The stronger, more sophiscated, more reliable,more happier women. He knows how I feel for him. And we're working on getting back together. But untill then we're only 19 years old.We have a lot to take care of. He'll be shipping out soon for the army,and i'll be going off to college.(I had a late start on life hehe)We plan on writting each other and calling each other every now and then.
I worry everyday that our friendship will die,but I've realized that you can't worry, you have to fight to keep your reltaionship alive. We don't ever fight, or ever hurt each other.I am not upset at the fact that we are just friends, I'm very happy.
This weekend we have something great planned for each other, and I can do nothing but pray that we are going to get back together again.Hey... It doesn't hurt to pray and hope does it? With him I don't loose either way he'll still be the wonderful friend in the end he'll always be there,and I will be for him. So no matter what happens...Sam will always be my bestfriend..my Ex lover My soon 2 be lover again:-D
*Names have been changed.
Notes From The Author:
You may e-mail me with any comments about my story.
I'm in love with Sam* But I value our friendship and could only pray that someday we'll be together again.:)
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